A Brit Abroad
A call-out for anyone interested in sharing their thoughts on their own meaning of home, and the first part in a series about moving abroad and having no clue WTF I was doing
Hi, I’m Sarah! The Best of Intentions is an independent publication about life in Hong Kong, travel, work, culture, health/fitness, photography, along with a sprinkle of psychology. If you like this post, consider liking or sharing it. If you are a regular reader please consider subscribing to receive updates and support my writing.
An introduction from Bill Bryson
At the beginning of Bill Bryson’s travel book, ‘The Lost Continent: Travels in Small Town America’, he writes: “I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to”.
Bryson is an excellent wordsmith and immediately I am struck by how there’s a whole story right there in those two sentences.
In just eight words (eight words!), Bryson provides us with an image of where he grew up, and we gain an insight about how the rest of the book will unfold. He then says:
“Hardly anyone ever leaves. This is because Des Moines is the most powerful hypnotic known to man. Outside town there is a big sign that says WELCOME TO DES MOINES. THIS IS WHAT DEATH FEELS LIKE. There isn’t really. I just made that up. But the place does get a grip on you”.
Building a life
I have never been Des Moines in the USA… it could be lovely! But in a small way, I do share some of Bryson’s sentiment when I think about my home in the UK. I feel confused, basically.
For some background, I left the UK nearly 13 years ago. First, I moved to Spain for a job and for a man (of all things!). Then, I went to Vietnam, alone but not quite single… a story for another time. And in 2017, I moved to Hong Kong.
That means I have been in Hong Kong for nearly eight years! That figure is crazy to me.
But as the years have passed, my thoughts about the meaning of home have become increasingly muddled, especially as I am not sure that I will move back to the UK to live permanently. Did I also mention that I am married to an American?
Still, I tend to be drawn to reading stories that share the theme of home. And while this could be pure coincidence, it could also be an unconscious desire to understand my own motivations to up sticks and move to the other side of the world.
Therefore, I have decided to start a series of posts exploring ‘home’ in the hope that it will un-muddle some of my thinking, including:
How do we decide where to build a life?
What happens to the connections with loved ones who we leave behind? And how do we forge meaningful connections somewhere new?
Do we ever know when we truly belong somewhere?
How does culture affect our sense of belonging?
I can’t guarantee that any of the insights that I share here will be terribly groundbreaking, after all, the theme of home has been examined and written about for several thousand years 🏛️
More importantly, I am curious if anyone else wants to join me on this odyssey?
Besides the questions above, what does home mean to you? Has this changed over time? How have you built a home (not necessarily in a bricks and mortar sense 😆). Or if there is anything else that you would like to share, I look forward to hearing from you in the comments. And I will provide appropriate credit and references to anything that is used in future posts.
Thanks!
Sarah
Ps: This call-out for your thoughts on home is not intended just for those who may have moved abroad!
Obviously I love everything about this. For me, I think an additional lense has been as a self-employed person. It’s taken me three years to stop looking back and to own being where I am. Once I did this, I started opening doors to new opportunities here. Language and adjusting from city to country living has been the biggest transition. Then threw in a third pregnancy for good measure. Oh - and going from founder of an agency employing my husband to then switching roles as he takes an external job and I have a major work pivot. I feel like I’m in a new life.
When I was wrestling with Misfortune Cookie, there were many times when I thought the theme of the whole thing was HOME. You gotta have a theme, memoir writers, what's your themeeee!?
So, I'm struck by our similarities and how much I dig this series. I also can't ignore the fact that I've been in Hawaii, where I was born and raised, for the last few weeks, but I keep referring to Cambodia as home. But home is also about the people, and Hawaii, I feel will be home forever because my mom is here. When she passes, will Hawaii still be home? I contemplate that and truly fear that it will not. But I also believe in having many homes!